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• spina bifida occulta
• frequent joint sprains and unexplained sore joints
• random or easily produced joint dislocations and subluxations, including toes, feet, ankles, hips, shoulders, and jaws (I can dislocate my toes by getting out of the van wrong, my ankles by stretching, my shoulder by picking up a heavy bag, my jaw by yawning)
• anesthesia that is ineffective or resolves (wears off) too quickly, because it leaks away from where it was placed
• I love to eat salty foods, much saltier than most people like them, which is one way my body tries to keep my blood pressure from dropping too low.
• orthostatic hypotension, or I almost pass out when I stand up because my blood pressure can’t adjust fast enough
• I can crack my ankles just like I can crack my knuckles
• a heartbeat that fluctuates with my breathing, with frequent episodes of palpitations and a history of unexplained murmurs
• stretch marks on top of stretch marks, from just existing, from growing boobs, from growing into a woman, from having kids again and again and again…not one or two, but entire body parts completely covered in them
• keratosis pilari, that bumpy skin on the back of my arms
• severe nearsightedness
• poor wound healing, with dehiscence in incisions when they should already be closed
• incompetent cervix in pregnancy
• being able to easily squat, being more comfortable sitting on the floor than in a chair
• tendon and nerve issues like plantar fasciitis and carpal tunnel syndrome starting in my teens
• severe recurring idiopathic headaches
• pelvic organ prolapse
• creaks and bumps when my joints move starting in my teens
• poor circulation in my feet
• Reynaud’s syndrome causing blood loss and pain in my hands and feet in the cold
• constant back pain and tight muscles around my lower back
• idiopathic blood issues, including thrombocytopenia (low platelets), petechiae (pinpoint spots of bleeding, especially after pressure on my skin like carrying a heavy bag), borderline anemia, easy bruising, and a tendency to bleed out in surgery
• flat, pronating feet
• early-onset of tissue paper skin
• idiopathic mouth sores
• reflux and irritable bowel syndrome
• extreme sensitivity to stomach irritation from nSAIDs like Advil (which is why I Piratebabe pussy exam teacher)
• hard-to-place and blown IVs
• permanent hair dye washes out in weeks
• symptoms of Mast Cell Activation Disease (MCAD), especially dermatographia and other strange allergy-like reactions
• stretchy skin with a velvety texture, especially in areas that are under constant stress or friction
• severe, almost debilitating menorrhagia
• translucent skin, so you can see all the veins